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Tuesday, March 6, 2012

What is Normal

Normal.....That little word defines us in so many ways doesn't it.  "Lets get back to normal, I don't feel normal, It is just a normal day.....that child isn't normal"  what exactly IS normal anyway. Don't we all set that for our own family. If that is the case then, there shouldn't really be a set standard for "normal" right? Then why do I seek it so much?? Why do I crave normality? When in reality I cant even define it.

There are days when I sit and try to imagine my life as "normal" and for me that means that James doesn't have cerebral palsy. It means that I don't understand medical lingo, or have medical equipment in my home. It means that my calendar is filled with t-ball games instead of doctor appointments. But that isn't what my normal is supposed to look like and that is hard to wrap my head around as James gets older. Now that surgeries ( for now) are past us, I have been searching for that elusive state of normal. I have come to realize that I don't even know what it is supposed to look like for use anymore. We are trying to step back some of James's physical therapy appointments and let him build strength by doing those typical 4 year old activities. The PT quote was "Lets let James be a normal 4 year old for a while" How??  Normal doesn't come with a home program, checklist or follow up appointments to make sure that I am doing it right.

Society says normal is a perfect able body, but what does normal look like for a family that has a 4 year old that has CP due to a intro uterine stroke? I don't have an answer to myself because I am coming to realize that normal isn't on the outside, but instead normal is a state of mind. Normal is feeling ok with spending the day feeding the ducks in the park instead of worrying that James is missing a PT appointment. Normal is watching James play with his toys and not feel the need to keep a running checklist what movements his body is or isn't making. Normal is enjoying the gift of motherhood, instead of feeling like I am failing everyday if I miss a stretch.

So today I am going to do 1 normal thing with James..........well our version of normal :-)

3 comments:

sandra

I don't know what Normal is either. Somedays I try to find normal things to do with Jonah but he is blind and all the fun things to do out there seem to take being able to see. But this is normal in my mind not Jonah's He loves to tell stories and play monster and just make things up using his imagination. And sometimes he ask's me is that reality Grammie or is that in my imagination. It breaks my heart but to him it is his normal. Blessing to that dear sweet boy he will find his normal and he will be happy if you are happy. Love and blessings Sandra

Em

Great post, hopped here from cp connection. You might be able to do tball and PT and get some "normal activities on board." have you heard of miracle league? They are nationwide and they may have an organization near you. Allowing kids to play ball. The field is special and they allow all kids and wheelchairs or walkers whatever they need and even have buddies to assist them to bat run or roll the bases and generally have fun! Check it out via google. My son is three and we just signed up, I used to volunteer before he was born.

Gmama Jane

Great post sweetie. I love to read your posts even if I do find myself wanting to correct a spelling here and there...LOL...once a Teacher Mama, always a Teacher Mama. I don't think You yourself have ever been "normal" so why start now?? I like your new "normal" plan!!
Hugs
Mama

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