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Saturday, January 15, 2011

Mommy Guilt

Alright Moms out there please tell me that I am not the only one that feels this. I am headed to Texas this week for a photography conference and I am SUPER excited but at the same time I an on the verge of a panic attack and the thought of leaving my family for 5 whole days!

I know that James will be loved, spoiled and safe at my mothers. I know that my husband will be well fed by my mother. And I know that the world will not spot turning because I am doing something for myself. But I find myself wanting to delete even those typed words.

"Doing something for myself"

It just sounds so selfish and silly. It doesnt sound like a good mother to me. And I know that those are things that I am telling myself but I cant seem to get them out of my head. I feel an extra burden because I am leaving someone else to take James to physical therapy. I worry that I am the only one that really understands how important it is that he gets there and that they appointments are productive. I worry this but yet I KNOW that when my mother takes him she will do exactly what I would in the situation. So why do I feel the sole responsibility . I guess that just comes with being a mother huh?

I am finding it really hard to pack because that just means I am really leaving. Oh how I LOVE my family and the thought of letting them down just breaks my heart. Please pray that I can give these thoughts and feelings to God so that He will free me of the burden of worry and guilt. I know that doing things like this will make me a better mother but I already just want to get home safe to my family. So if you have a extra minute in your prayer time here are some of the worries I need lifted up..

- My guilt over leaving
-Safe traveling and air flight ( I havent flown alone in over 15 years)
- Stress free PT visits for James and my mom
-that Josh and James will not miss me too much and will have fun while I am gone

2 comments:

Melissa Kelly

You deserve it. Have a fun and safe trip!

Holly

It's hard to leave them! Praying for safe travels and that you enjoy a little you time!

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