Hives and Homesickness!

James and I are ready to get back home. He is for sure! I am sad to say that his little body is starting to show signs of stress in the form of hives. We got up and ready like normal today. We went over to the therapy office and they put James down on the heating pads getting ready for his stretches.

As he was playing, I noticed a few welps on his upper arm. I thought they were bub bites but when I touched them they were very hot and then I noticed there were more starting to pop up. We all started to look him over ( he did not like this) and discovered that he was covered with red hives. He had gotten so very upset while we were trying to look at the hives that I decided we needed to cut the therapy day short.

I took him back to our room and gave him a dose of benadryl. After about an hour the hives started to fade. I called our pediatrician and our family Dr. for thier advise. Both agreed that as long as he isnt having any other symptoms then benadryl is really all the ER would do anyway. We James and I took a nap and rested for the afternoon. I discovered that I missed a cupcake delivery from a friend that came to visit and was turned away by the Ronald McDonald house staff, and that was sad to find out. I sure could have used the company of a friendly face today, but oh well.

So when James woke up the hices were gone but did come back this afternoon. And they were worse that before. I did the mas dose of benadryl the Dr. said I could give him. There was a Dr. a the therapy center that was rounding and he took a look. He said that they are stress hive. This really makes me sad to know that I an causing my child so much stress that he is breakingout in hives.

So tonight I am a little sad. I am sad that James is under so much stress and I feel to blame. I am left with some questions tonight that are keeping me from sleeping. Is my desire to see James walk causing him harm? And I hurting the one human being that I honestly would jump infront of a bus for?? And I trying to "fix" him when he really isnt broken??

I can honestly say that I try to do for James the best I know how. He is such a joy to be around but that joy had been gone these 3 weeks. I havent heard him truly laugh in 2 weeks. My heart is just broken right because I miss is happyness.

I am not only homesick for my husband and life, but I am homesick for my sweet James. I have been trying my best to get him to play and do fun things. And he will have fun but it just isnt like he does when we are home. At home his joy is contagious to everyone around him and here I just feel that people see him as the cranky 2 year old. At home when people talk to him he lights up and tells them a joke. Here he yells and hits his head on the back of his chair.

I miss him!