Saturday, May 29, 2010

This time next week...

We will be all packed up and ready for our trip........

This time next week, we will leave this house and life will never be the same...............

This time next week, we will start a new adventure in life.............

This time next week, we leave for St. Louis!

But those are hard words to say for me. I have distracted myself pretty well over the past few weeks. Or at least I have been distracted by situations, but I can no longer distract myself. This is the last week in our house with James' leg the way they are now. Every time I think about it tears well up in my eyes. Are we making the right choice for him? Is this the right timing? so many questions run through my head. I know that this train is leaving the station this time next week but I just wish I knew where it will stop.

Most of you that know me or have read my blog long enough know that I am Mama-Bear. I love that sweet little 2 year old with a passion that I never knew lived inside of me. I know that all mothers love their children but I think God give us mothers that have lost a child an extra dose of Mama-Bear with the children we get to raise here on this side of heaven. Or at least that is what I tell myself to explain the fierceness that I protect my child with.

But this is something that I cant control or even predict the outcome. I have to totally give this one to God and the neurosurgeons that will be operating on James. I have sit back while they open up my son spine and just wait. How I will do that I have NO idea, but I know that I have to. All I can do until this time next week is pray and have all the fun I can squeeze into a week with James.

That is why on the way home from Emma's recital I stopped and got James an ice cream cone and let him eat it in the car!!


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