Saturday, June 5, 2010

We are Blessed

Well the waiting is over! The time has come and a years worth of waiting is at an end. I have been researching this surgery and asking everyone that I could about it for a year. We have seen countless doctors, neurologist, physical therapist, and I can count the procedure my poor baby has been through. All leading up to this moment we are embarking on.

On the outside I think I am holding up pretty well. Or at least I hope I am. I found myself today just sitting with James on the floor smelling his hair, and telling myself "don't forget this smell" I think that when you know how fragile life can be and that we are not promised tomorrow you appreciate those little things. I made sure that when I was holding him today , I really soaked in the feel of his skin and the weight of his body in my arms. Tonight when we were saying goodnight I stayed a little longer at his crib kissing his Bears and Mickey Mouse toys. I even kept him up a little longer that usual just because I didn't want to end the day.

This is the last Saturday that he will be in his body the way it is now. What does that mean? What are we signing up for? All the what ifs are piling up and I am constantly reminding myself to turn my fear over to God. I know the He can handle it because I obviously can not! My mind just wont stay away from the what ifs, and they are scary.

God has shown us just how kindhearted and generous people can be. Even those that we would have never thought to give have given in a way that has blesses up beyond measure. We cant thank then enough, and honestly I dont even know if I could find the right words to try. All I can do is say Thank you! I hope that your investment in a little boys vertical life is one that you will reap the benifits from for many many years. I also hope that I can return the favor to you in a way that will bless you as it has my family.


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