Complications

Today has been one of those days that you wish you could just go back to bed and try again. It started out well...even though it started a few hours earlier than usual. I had planned to use the babysitter that was coming for a few hours to entertain James while I packed and cleaned the house. That didnt work out because my contact ripped and it was my last pair. Since my perscription was old I had to have a whole new exam. I called everywhere until I finally got an appointment in the babysitter time frame.

At the eye appointment, I was informed that I had an ulcer on my cornea and also an infection on my eye lids!!!! OK?! I ask does this mean that you will not be giving me my contacts today. They of course said yes AND that they would also not be giving me any contact to replace the one I had thrown away for the exam. So I was blind as an infected bat!!

And of course we do not have vision on our insurance so that was all out of pocket AND I had to get new glasses because I will not be able to wear contact for at least a week. I had to purchase VERY expensive eye antibiotic drops. UGH! I figure this was as bad as it could get right? nope there is more.

Josh calls me and says I hope you are sitting. I inform him of my eye condition and that I couldnt see my own nose so of course I was sitting. He tells me that his work has made some "tweaks" to our insurance plan. I think I might vomit at this point. It would be only our luck that 4 days before a major hospital stay our insurance would change. And boy did is change!!

We learned that instead of a $300 in-patient co-pay for the surgery our insurance now requires a $250 A DAY co-pay.....now I really do need to vomit! We have to pay a &250 copay now until the 6th day of the hospital stay and of course James will only be in-patient for 5 days. After having a good ole cry in my car, I re-group try to figure out what we are going to do with the extra 1,250 co-pay that we have to pay upfront. I dont have an answer for that one just yet, but we are praying that something will happen. We were told no payment plans but I am hoping I can get something worked out since this change happened SO close to the surgery date.

Please pray that we can get this worked out. I am trusting that God has a plan for all these stumbling blocks right now and I am sure I am supposed to be learning something, but my heart is having a hard time dealing with it.

As I was reading the info packet I recieved today from St. Louis, I had an official panic attack of the surgery. I learned that I will have to leave James alone from 8-10am everymorning and then 7-8pm every night. I am freaking out over this. I remember having to do this when he was in the NICU but he was SO little and just slept. And frankly didnt really know if were were there or not, but now at 2.5 I cant leave the living room without him calling for me. Even typing this out I have had to stop a few times just to remind myself to breath. I am scared that he will be scared and no one will be able to comfort him for the 2 hours I cant be with him. Oh goodness I need prayers with this one!

Sorry this post was a heavy one but it is reality right now.